I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at hightensile's Christmas party. It was fallofrain who spiked the punch with too much gin gumbo. I can't help it if I drank 435 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like freshly cut onions.
I thought it was funny when I put qara_isuke's pants on my head and danced the combatdance on the sofa while singing `"Word UP!"'. I didn't mean to break Tarx's Playstation 2 and don't know why tarx would sue me for Assault with a Fried Chicken.
I don't remember calling stryypgya's wife a cold dairy cow---even though she looked like one with indigo eye shadow and maroon lipstick!
And when I threw up on the_z's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that chili.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my transit bus through my neighbor's foyer. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a flatulating squirrel and have me arrested for solicitation of sexual favours!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all dark and courageous. And I'm really not to blame for any of this shiny stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and adverbally yours,
Kuo (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 13 bucks!