April 20th, 2002

Zero Punctuation - Demon Thing


I want to be liked. Hell, I'm desperate for affirmation and approval, to know that the people I work with, the ones I like, don't think that I'm a burden or a complete nincompoop. I become more grandiose a personality amongst them, adding liberal amounts of Kuo about into my demeanor. Unfortunately, this addiction to feeling needed can backfire. I know it can... And I'm scared shitless that it might happen.

Every roll of the eyes, every heavy sigh, every 'Whatever' comment sends me into a panic, albeit a silent one. My mind screams vulgarities at me as all the worst possibilities play out in my head.

When I'm not depressed, I can work around it, ignore it, or not even notice it. When I am, though...

Yeah. I have acceptance issues.
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    distressed distressed